The Courage to Keep Filming
Not every story ends the way you hope — and that's exactly why it matters.
I didn’t know how the run would end.
I didn’t know what kind of film, if any, would come from it.
I didn’t know if I’d be strong enough to keep going — and yet I kept rolling.
Because sometimes, the camera isn’t about capturing the perfect moment.
It’s about honouring the imperfect one.
This run was never going to be tidy.
But what happened near the end still hit harder than expected.
We’d given everything. For weeks.
Mentally, physically, emotionally.
And then we had to face it:
We weren’t going to break the record.
All the pain, the precision, the sacrifice — and still… we came up short.
We set out to chase something big — a record across New Zealand.
And for a long time, it felt possible.
That belief carried us through some of the worst conditions, the deepest exhaustion.
But when it slipped out of reach… it hit hard.
Because we’re not used to failure.
Not when we’ve given everything.
And that brought on something harder than exhaustion:
acceptance.
Not just as a team, but individually.
Quietly. Separately.
Both scared to say too much, in case we made it worse for the other.
That kind of silence is a weight all its own.
And still… we filmed.
Not because it was easy.
But because, somehow, it felt necessary to honour all of the story.
Not just the success. But the letting go.
When it came time to try and tell that story —
4 terabytes of footage, 50 days of extreme highs and lows —
I realised I couldn’t do it alone.
And that in itself was growth.
I asked for help.
I reached out to Gavin (Doghaus Creative) — someone I’d worked with years ago, but we’d lost contact, and things hadn’t been great when we said our farewells in 2014.
It became another opportunity for growth — for both of us.
Just like the run, we had our own process to navigate:
two people trying to meet in the middle of something big, emotional, and undefined.
We didn’t chase perfection. We chased honesty.
And what we’ve built, together, is something I’m proud of.
This Thursday, A Run Through Darkness
will go live on The Running Show Channel.
It’s a film about running the length of New Zealand.
But really… it’s a film about everything you find — and have to let go of — along the way.
And maybe, most of all, it’s about the courage to tell a story…
before you know how it ends.
Great post Paul. Super writing. And I just love the raw honesty in the film.